Old habits die hard

December 15, 2009 at 4:25 pm 3 comments

I’m having a bit of a tough time at work at the moment. Last week my boss upset me so much that I had my first cigarette in over 10 years. Half a cigarette actually, bummed off a GP (family physician)! I’m sorry to say it did actually help a bit, right up until the point that I felt violently sick. I know it’s stupid, and I won’t do it again. But it’s amazing that even after all this time, when the s**t hits the fan, the craving comes back. To be honest, I was actually pleasantly surprised that my craving was for a smoke rather than for 5 pints of haagen dasz or a family size bar of galaxy – my usual poisons.

We had another ‘thing’ yesterday, and again, my first instinct was not to turn to food. I suppose this is a good thing. I resisted the urge to bum another cigarette, waited till I got home, and poured myself a large glass of my favourite wine. Even as I was doing it I knew I should channel my anger and frustration out into exercise and it would probably help, but by that time I’d drunk half the wine and there was no going back (or getting on the treadmill, for that matter – best stick to exercising whilst sober). Another glass of wine later and the takeaway menus had come out. I ordered the most ridiculous amount of Chinese food – enough for three people, and polished off the majority of it. And another glass of wine. Hah, take that boss lady – that’ll learn ya.

Despite knowing how self destructive and pointless it is to deal with my emotions like this, and how much more effective something like running or boxing would be, in the crunch situation, I still revert back to these bad habits. I had an awful night. Lay awake for ages, still upset, despite all that food, and then woke up every half hour or so with a raging thirst and drank litres and litres of water. Woke up this about 4 with a severe asthma attack, and still having trouble breathing at 7. Called in sick. Way to act like a grown up. Slept till the phone woke me up at 3.30. Yes, in the afternoon. And an hour later, am only just starting to feel human again. I’m disappointed with myself for reverting to old habits when I know better and have come this far. I’d welcome any suggestions on how to implement new, better behaviours in tough situations. Not what to do – I know that – but HOW to do it.

Your chastened, BBG.

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Entry filed under: heath and fitness, weight loss.

Erm…shall we try that again? A recurring theme

3 Comments Add your own

  • 1. multimedialearningllc  |  December 21, 2009 at 2:43 am

    We are now the same weight, a bit above 195. I came down from 240 on my way to 150. Years ago I weighted 139 and ran marathons but ran all the way up to 140 my greatest weight in my 65 years. Taking a two month break from dieting and seeing if I can hold my weight until next year when I will lose the last 40. I do intervals for 45 minutes three times a week. Next day my feet hurt but the pain goes away midday. I love lifting weights and using the machines at the gym. I have three sessions with trainers a week, very expensive but my business pays for it, whats left of it in these depression days. I will be starting to lose weight again on Jan 5th and will be checking in to see how you are doing. I will do the Nutri system food pplan for a month or two then on my own.

    Reply
  • 2. blubberbegone  |  December 21, 2009 at 5:01 pm

    Hi Dana,

    Do you work with Herschel? How is he? Well done on your weight loss so far. 45 minutes seems a bit long for intervals. Might be worth reducing the total time but increasing the intensity of your ‘hard’ intervals. Do let me know how you are doing too in the new year.

    Ang

    Reply
    • 3. multimedialearningllc  |  December 21, 2009 at 7:34 pm

      Hi,

      Actually its not Dana its Herschel. Dana is my business partner and runs the blog. Sorry for the confusion. I have increased the intensity of my hard intervals up to treadmill speed of 8 mph up from 7.4. I do 2 minutes of walking and 10 minutes of light jogging around 4.5 mph before I start the intervals. The intervals themselves last another 30 minutes which is quite enough. What do you do for cardio?

      Herschel

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Blubberbegone Stats

  • Start: 16 stone, 45.7% body fat
  • Goal: 10 stone, 20% body fat
  • Today: 14 stone 13.6 lbs, 44.8% BF
  • Pounds lost: 14.4
  • Body fat lost: 0.9%
  • Exercise this week (Sat–Fri):
  • Total: 2 hr 5 mins
  • Jog/Walk: 20 mins
  • Walking: 20 mins
  • Burlesque: 1 hr
  • Pilates: 25 mins
  • African dance: mins
  • Tae Kwon Do: mins
  • Badminton: mins
  • Tai Chi: mins
  • Yoga: hr
  • Exercise last week: 4 hrs 40 mins
  • Joke of the Day

    I'm not fat - I'm a woman and a half.

    Motivation

    My Weight Loss Goals

  • 1. Crack 15 stone (210 lbs) for the fourth and final (I hope) time.
  • 2. Lose 10% of my body fat (14 stone 4).
  • 3. Fit into a size 18 (US 16).
  • 4. Get my body fat below 40%
  • 5. Lose another 10% of my body fat (12 stone 12/180 lbs).
  • 6. Get my BMI under 30 (12 stone 9/177 lbs) - no longer obese, just overweight now.
  • 7. Weigh less than my husband.
  • 8. Fit into a size 16 (US 14).
  • 9. Lose my third 10% (11 stone 8/162 lbs).
  • 10. Fit into a size 14 (US 12).
  • 11. Get my BMI under 25 (10 stone 8/148 lbs).
  • 12. Lose my fourth 10% (10 stone 6/ 146 lbs).
  • 13. Fit into a size 12 (US 10).
  • 14. Reach my goal weight (10 stone) and decide if I need to lose any more based on my muscularity and shape.
  • 15. Turn heads in a bikini!
  • My Fitness Goals for 2011

  • 1. Increase my cruising walking speed from around 5.0kph to 6.4kph.
  • 2. Increase continuous jogging time to 30 mins.
  • 3. Run a 5K for charity.
  • 4. Work on my crawl stroke and build up to 30 mins continuous swimming.
  • 5. Build up to 1 hour continuous and comfortable cycling.
  • 6. Squat 50kg.
  • 7. Do an unassisted chin up.
  • 8. Take a martial arts or self-defence class for at least 3 months.
  • 9. Beat my husband at badminton.
  • 10. Learn a new dance style.
  • My Blubber Reduction Journey

  • My highest measured weight ever:
  • Jan 1 2006 = 238 lbs (17 stone)
  • BBG blog starting weight:
  • Sep 16 2007 = 215.5 lbs (15 stone 5.5), 47.0% BF Lean body mass 114.2 lbs (8 stone 2.2)
  • Highest weight posted since then:
  • Xmas 2008 = 223.6 lbs (15 stone 13.6), 48.2% BF, lean body mass 116.0 lbs (8 stone 4)
  • Lowest weight posted since then:
  • Nov 16 2009 = 193.2 lbs (13 stone 11.2), 43.7% BF, lean body mass 108.8 lbs (7 stone 10.8)
  • Lowest body fat posted since then:
  • Sep 7 2009 = 194.2 lbs (13 stone 12.2), 42.6% BF, lean body mass 111.5 lbs (7 stone 13.5)
  • My blubber reduction journey 2011:
  • Xmas 2010 = 221.6 lbs, 46.7% BF, 118.1 lbs LBM
  • 5 Jan = 221.0 lbs, 47.1% BF
  • 12 Jan = 219.6 lbs, 45.8% BF
  • 19 Jan = 220.4 lbs, 45.8% BF (TTOM)
  • 26 Jan = 218.8 lbs, 45.2% BF
  • 2 Feb = 218.8 lbs, 44.7% BF
  • 9 Feb = 219.4 lbs, 44.9% BF
  • 16 Feb = 215.8 lbs, 44.6% BF
  • 23 Feb = 213.2 lbs, 45.2% BF
  • 2 Mar = 211.6 lbs, 45.9% BF
  • 9 Mar = 209.8 lbs, 45.1% BF
  • 16 Mar = 208.8 lbs, 45.3% BF
  • 23 Mar = 208.0 lbs, 45.1% BF
  • 13 Apr = 208.4 lbs, 44.4% BF
  • 20 Apr = 207.6 lbs, 43.3% BF
  • 27 Apr = 205.0 lbs, 45.8% BF
  • 4 May = 209.2 lbs, 45.2% BF (TTOM)
  • No. weeks: 18
  • Average weekly weight loss: 0.31%
  • 101 in 1001

    28 down, 5 goals revoked, 68 to go, and 94 days to do them. Check out the 101 page, above, for all the latest on my journey to be a better blubberbegone.

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