10 minutes in the morning

Well, as increasingly unsurprising as it is, last week did not go quite to plan. Didn’t exercise, didn’t stick to my WW points allowance; did quit my job and hyperventilate about it for 48 hours, though. At least the panic attacks have stopped now. I’m applying for jobs, and back on the detox programme. Kind of. Still drinking tea. With cow’s milk. Oooo, I feel sooo bad!

In other news, without realising, I seem to have gradually come off all my asthma meds over the last couple of months. I noticed this because I’ve been feeling as though there is a large sleepy bear sitting on my chest most of the time. So I’m back on my purple puffer, and building up to exercise gradually. I know that weights are more important for building lean body mass and aiding in weight loss, but since I can’t walk to the shops without collapsing several times along the way, I’m starting with gentle cardio. 10 minutes in the morning. I did two days on the stationary bike but am now so sore in my unmentionables that I’ve had to switch to walking. I’ve got one of those special saddles designed for women’s ‘bits’, by who I don’t know. I can only assume a celibate male designer who has never actually seen any women’s ‘bits’. Or else a card-carrying sadist. So, a couple of days off the turbo trainer, methinks.

To help me in my quest, I went and joined the library yesterday and took out an audio book to listen to while I workout. So far, it is not really lighting a fire under me. I should have probably just taken out some AC/DC, but there you go. The book has a running time of 10 hours and 40 minutes. I’ll give it an hour, after which it’s days are numbered.

Treading Water

It’s been nearly a month since my last post, and it’s been a pretty rough month. I’ve been suffering badly with anxiety and depression and just trying to survive on a day by day basis. No exercise and frequently unimpressive food choices. On the plus side, kind of, the anxiety attacks mean that I also can’t face food quite often, particularly in the morning. I’ve gone from the kind of person who would gnaw off her own arm if she didn’t get breakfast, to one who may or may not even bother with lunch.

The net result of all this is that my weight has held pretty steady, instead of climbing up again, but that it’s lean body mass that I’ve been losing. I’ve been watching the body fat numbers creep up from 44–45% into the 46–47% range. For the last few days I’ve been back counting Weight Watchers points but I’ve yet to start exercising again. Did manage a couple of short walks last week though, which is an improvement on the previous couple of weeks. Goals for this week: do 3 resistance sessions and write down all food in my food diary.