Every Mistake in the Book

Like the title says, I made every classic dieter’s mistake this week. It started with just one, then the others all piled up one after another. It was like opening the floodgates.

I think the root of the problem was that I didn’t take my food journal to work with me. Until I started working, every single thing that went into my mouth was written down within 10 minutes or so and my totals tallied. Since I began working, I’ve been totting up at the end of the day, sometimes even the next morning. In retrospect, this probably had the effect of divorcing me from my efforts. Writing everything down reminded me several times a day of what I was striving for and how well I was doing. I managed OK for a few days, but by Friday I’d had a week of not really monitoring myself properly, although I was preparing all my food and eating right.

Then on Friday, there it was, in the kitchen at work, that last tiny little piece of somebody’s birthday cake. I know, I know. I resisted at first, even left the kitchen. I know it’s always somebody’s birthday/leaving/new account/getting married/whatever. But then I went back, just for a tiny taste, just a little bit of icing. That was mistake number two – the “just one bite” trap. Satisfied with my one bite I went back to my office. But sitting there with the taste of sugar in my mouth…. I went and got it, that last piece of cake. And it really was tiny, it had probably been subdivided a couple of times. Oh well, no real harm done in the grand scheme of things – one tiny piece of cake in 7 weeks is not the end of the world.

Next came the emotional eating. Hubby was out with friends for drinks after work, and I was exhausted after my first week. Thursday night I’d even come home, had a bowl of soup and was in bed for 7.30pm, sleeping right through till morning. No workout, of course. Anyway, didn’t feel much like cooking for myself so stopped for a Chinese on my way home. Chili beef with boiled rice. Not terrible. On it’s own. But it was really spicy, so I had some ice cream to neutralise it. Then hubby called. He was fed up and wanted to come home early and could I order him a pizza and potato wedges. Mmmm pizza. And despite having got up to nearly 17 stone at my heaviest, I can honestly say, hand on my heart, that I have NEVER done this before. I had a small pizza and some wedges too. I ate a whole second dinner. I was so ill I could barely breath. I whimpered myself to sleep wondering what had possessed me. No workout, of course.

From Friday night through to Sunday night, I had two pizzas, a Chinese, and an Indian. And some crisps. Well, rice chips, not quite as bad. I had been eating them in measured out portions when I was on the points plan and had some left (an achievement in itself). But instead of measuring out a portion, I figured I’d “just have a few” from the tub. No prizes for guessing what happened next. Why don’t I learn? I also barely did a workout. I dragged myself though the weights portion of my Turbulence Training workout one night, but that’s been it. I’m way overdue with my TT workouts and I never did make up the interval training.

The other trap I fell into was, I think, letting a plateau get to me. I knew it was just a plateau, and I knew that if I just stuck with it the weight loss would suddenly start up again. But after 3 weeks without seeing any progress, I think I just allowed myself to be drawn over to the dark side without too much of a fight. The I’m-working-so-hard-and-what-for self pity. The trick now is not to replace it with self-loathing. Just pick myself up, be nice to myself, and move on. Some of my older readers may remember that I suffer from depression, and it was this that derailed my PN challenge attempt. I’ve been rather weepy today, but whether the depression stems from my ‘failures’ over the weekend, or the other way round, is a matter of debate.

So anyway, all told my weight on Sunday wasn’t as bad as I’d expected. I’m not sure what this week will bring with regard to exercise – I just feel so wiped out. Maybe I will cut right back, just do my TT workouts since I’m so close to finishing the 4-week intermediate programme. I just don’t feel like working out in the evenings at the moment. Maybe this will get easier as I get used to being back in the workforce. I could say that I will start getting up earlier and working out before I leave the house, but this isn’t really very likely. I’ve never been a morning person in my life. The other alternative is to workout a little at lunchtime, although there are no showering facilities at work. I could do pilates, or a brisk walk though (very brisk in this weather). There’s also apparently a pool nearby and I’ve arranged to go swimming with one of the girls from work on Thursday.

Plus, my super supportive hubby just asked me what percentage of my total goal weight loss I’ve lost so far, and it’s 13%! God bless him. Feeling a bit more positive and motivated now. ‘night all.